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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Friday, March 25, 2011

Letting Go

I have, unfortunately, decided to cut a trusted friend from my life.  I have relied upon this "shoulder" for the past several months and quitting cold-turkey is going to be a difficult task.  But I've been betrayed one too many times.  This must be done.

Yes, folks, I will no longer be relying fully upon books, articles and...gasp...blogs for my parenting how-to.  I may look at an article or two and I won't be canceling all of my magazine subscriptions.  But I've had enough.  I'm quite certain that the advice dispensed by these media is often sound and valuable for some, but I think for a while I am going to go it solo.

So what caused this about-face in parenting styles?  I guess it's just plain-old experience.  I'm not a complete idiot--I do get that I don't begin to know everything (anything?) about parenting.  But I guess I've just read one too many "cautionary" articles that have driven me insane.  The other night I was perusing a nameless magazine (primarily nameless because they're all named basically the same thing) and I saw an article about how germ-laden kids' "lovies" are.  For those blissfully unaware of such terms, a "lovie" is an object over which your child has a sincere attachment.  For example, blankies, teddys, or even clothing may be a "lovie."  Anyway, the article was going on and on about how you must immediately confiscate and banish the lovie from your kid's life because there are likely germs on it.  Well aren't you freaking brilliant.  OF COURSE there are germs on it.  Lovies are hugged and slobbered on, dragged all over the floor, stomped on, dropped in odd places and otherwise are allowed to collect all manner of matter.  They get gross.  And they remain gross no matter how many times you wash them.  But why, in the name of Zeus, would I ever for a second consider taking away from my child his number one source of happiness and comfort?  I understand that this is a good idea for some parents--not such a good idea for me. 

But it's not the lovie story, really, that turned me off to advice media.  It's the realization that I don't HAVE to follow it.  It's very freeing, actually.  I can choose to make decisions for my kid that may or may not be AMA, APA, ASPCA, or AAA recommended.  And that's pretty cool.  I guess my time with my own lovie is done.  And I'm sort of proud of myself.  Guess I'm a big girl now.
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  1. JessicaMarch 25, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    Good for you! I don't really read a lot of parenting stuff because the few books I've read are all conflicting, but I feel kind of an obligation to follow recommendations made by the AAP and AAFP. Since, you know, I give these recommendations to my patients, I feel like I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't follow them myself. . . at least for now. We'll see how well that no-tv-until-age-2 rule holds up when Russell is 18 months and I need a minute of quiet time . . .

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