Parenthood or Age?

This is totally what I look like.  Really.
Reprinted from toonbarn.com.

When I was a kid, I was occasionally annoyed by my parents (well, my dad, really) falling asleep on the couch in the evenings.  Well, maybe not annoyed so much as disappointed.  There was so much to do!  There were games and movies and playing and eating that could be done!  How dare they (he) fall asleep when spectacular me was there!

Fast forward a decade or two (fine...or three or four).  Having a kid is tiring.  Being old is tiring.  Multiply the two, and your body doesn't stand a chance.  Which, as you know, I have fully acknowledged over the past several months.  I am going to be tired.  And as much as I love my kid and love spending time with him, I am very lucky that he goes to bed early.  Especially lately, as you will see.  But I have fully acknowledged that it is reasonable for me to want to nap a bit.

Over the past few weeks, though, it's more than nap.  I have been physically INCAPABLE of staying awake.  About 8:30 (yes, I know that's pathetic), no matter where in my house I am or what I am (or should be) doing, I will completely pass out.  We're talking snoring, drooling, offensive sleep.  And there's nothing I can do about it.  For a short time, my paranoid self seriously wondered whether I had been accidentally drugging myself.  I seriously pass out and wake up hours later, in a painful heap on the chair or couch.  And it's completely involuntary.  Sad.

So I guess I owe all adults an apology.  I hadn't realized.  At all.  And it makes me worry about the other involuntary body reactions that are likely coming.  Is this the beginning of the end?  Will I soon end up a drooling mess while in line at the grocery store?  Is an oxygen tank just months away?  Is my physical reaction to parenthood or age?  Either way, good to know there's yet another thing I can't control in life.  Awesome.

The Christma...Er...Holid...Um...Christmas Spirit

As you may have noticed, there are many things that differ in living in a smaller community than a big city.  One of the funnier ones to me at the moment is the whole "Christmas vs. Holiday" debate.

When I lived in Chicago, I found the stories about the "war on Christmas" to be hilarious.  The concept that people find it offensive that people are trying not to be offensive, cracks me up.  I couldn't fathom that anyone cared whether an obnoxious evil empire such as Wal-Mart says "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays."  Either way, aren't they saying "enjoy your time for these few weeks and pretend that your crappy paycheck is bigger than it is so you can buy things here and give us less-crappy paychecks"?  So the whole thing was funny.  Plus I distinctly recall that, when I went to law school (a religion-based school) after years of public schooling, it was cool to see nativity scenes in the halls and have "Christmas" be ok.

Yeah, well, things are a bit different here.  I now work for a government organization--about as "politically correct" as you can get.  Even more, I am in charge of said "political correctness."  So when a few weeks ago my office got a call from my predecessor, asking for his Christmas tree back, I was dumbfounded.  Not only that this guy thought I had his tree hiding somewhere under my desk, but because HE HAD A CHRISTMAS TREE AT WORK.  Don't get me wrong, I had a little one in my firm in Chicago.  The building itself decorated.  But we were a private organization.  The fact that it's ok in government to go ahead and celebrate CHRISTMAS?  Crazy.  But it's more than that.  I am now worried that my Christmas cards say "Happy Holidays."  I truly believe that there will be some people here who will be offended.  They will view my lack of "ho-ho-ho" as a full-on assault on the lives of their children and grandparents.  Even when I sort of bring it up to my superiors, their eyes get big and they immediately make sure we are clear--I am not allowed to touch "Christmas."

Which is fine with me.  I love Christmas.  I am rather spiritual, when the mood strikes me.  And I don't see the big deal, either way.  But every time anyone says "Christmas party," I can't help but take a sharp breath in.  It is hilarious.  How did I become this person?  I finally get to fa-la-la my way around an office, and instead I worry that someone is going to (rightfully, per the law) complain. 

Am I now the Grinch?  Or is he even allowed to exist?  Apparently here, he is.  Which is great, and unnerving, and wrong, and odd.  So if you happen to live here, please don't sue us.  I'll be forced to report you to Santa.

And...We're Back

Hi Folks!
Thanks for your patience over the last several months!  Things have been running and running, in the Carpool lane.  So much for being the "slower" lane.

We're doing well here in Montana and sort of settling in.  My kid absolutely loves everything about his new life.  He has the world's greatest nannies--particularly Grandpa!  He's getting big fast, and has started chatting up a storm.  He loves running around outside, even though it's getting cold here (like really, really cold).  And the whole Christmas light thing is making each day worth living.  So overall he's pretty happy.

I'm doing pretty well, too, though I miss those of you in Chicago (and Arizona) terribly.

I promise to get back on track with my updates here, as there are plenty of crazy stories to go around!!  Thanks for tuning in again and looking forward to our chats!

Hope you are well and stay tuned for more posts soon!