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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Are Moms Girls?

Recently, my friend Rebecca stated that she doesn't often do things that are considered "girley."  In making her point, she listed off things that were examples of traditionally "girl" things that she did not do, such as going to prom, picking up random frat boys in bars, getting her nails done, and having a kid.  I nodded as she walked through her list, until she got to the last one.  Really?  Is having kids "girley"?  Because, God, I have never felt less like a girl in my entire life.

I can see how "mother" gets an association with "girl."  As far as I know, apart from the former governor of California (transgendered people aside), no men have given birth.  Mom = female.  I get that.  But what, may I ask, does walking around with your hair in a half-beehive, half-skater 'doo, have to do with feeling feminine?  Sure I wear more dresses.  But this is because NOTHING ELSE FITS MY BUTT.  My nails haven't been done in years.  Hell, they haven't been long enough to bite, in years, because I am terrified of accidentally stabbing my kid in the arm.  A few months ago I tried to seduce my boyfriend by getting him drunk.  We each had a margarita and passed out on the couch while watching Cash Cab.  When I go into Victoria's Secret, I lust after the cotton pajama bottoms and sweatshirts and wonder whether I can wear them to work.  In short, there is NOTHING "girley" about me at the moment.

Okay, okay, maybe I am being dramatic.  Maybe, regardless of the fact that I feel like a giant-though-slightly-better-dressed Oompa-Loompa, I guess I do get the "girley" thing.  Maybe it's not just a perception from those who still own non-roomy clothing, either.  Not to get too "earthy," but I do feel like I have done something so intimately "woman," it can't be described.  I feel a connection to other moms.  Being a mom is about as basic in terms of "female gender" that you can possibly get.  It's not biology's fault that I'm currently wearing watered-down Peeps sugar as lipstick.  I am all girl.  Just need to work on looking like a woman.
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1 comment:

  1. EmilyMarch 16, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    I think there is a difference between female/womanly and girly, though. To me, girly is more frivolous, such as getting hair and nails done, dressing up when not obligated, etc. Obsessing over babies might be girly, but I don't think having a baby is. Unless you are a star of MTV's "16 and Pregnant."

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