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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dude Looks Like a Lady

Ancient communicative device.
So I think I'm a dude.  Ok, not really--the whole childbirth thing pretty much solidified my chick status, had there been any prior concerns.  But I mean now that my life has slowed a bit, I see that some of my former traits are those more traditionally said to be male.

What do I mean, exactly?  I mean that these days I have (sometimes) more time on my hands than I had previously.  As a result, I have been able to focus on things like friendships and communication.  To the point where I am pretty sure I am driving people insane.  Constant emails and texts and even the occasional (gasp) call.  FROM me.  No, really.  And I think it's freaking them out.  My friends have always been a huge part of my world.  But, like most guys stereotypically, I have also sort of assumed they knew as much.  Sure I told them how much they mean to me, but generally that was during one of our every-six-month-lunches.  Oh. 

Last night I was talking to a friend who called me three times yesterday.  I should also mention, however, that she had called me about 30 times over the past year and I don't recall returning a call even once.  Yes, I am bad at telephone communication.  Yes, I have had a totally insane year.  But no excuse.  I love this friend completely and wanted to talk with her.  I just didn't think I had the time. 

Let me say that I am totally stereotyping guys.  But I do think that the communication thing is not most of their strong suits.  However, I also think that this is a focus thing.  I have been focused on my career.  It was my entire world.  I was focused on my kid.  Again, my entire world.  But when trying to balance the two, it was impossible to step up and make calls and say hi.  Now, I am able to.  And I am embarrassed at how much I sucked at it previously.

And so, if I am bombarding you with texts and emails, please do not think that I have gone insane (well, any more than I was).  And please don't think I'm that annoying person from high school that you told a million times you didn't want to date.  It's just me, letting you know that I was wrong not to let you know every single detail of every single day.  And look forward to me fixing that immediately.  Want to know what I had for breakfast?
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