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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Good Stuff

I will fully admit--I can be a huge sap.  While a decade of fighting with people for a living has knocked a bit of it out of me, I still tear up at movies, I still get a lump in my throat at some country songs (even, occasionally, when that lump isn't vomit), and I still go absolutely insane with joy when my friends are happy.  It's these times that remind me (and I need to be reminded) that there are some good parts of life.

This week a friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  Everyone is doing well, and little baby Oopsie went home already.  I suppose I will have to stop calling her that before she is a teenager.  Her parents, clearly, had not intended to have kids, but from the second she was known about, that child was completely adored by both.  And I know with 100% certainty that they are going to be one of those families that you see out and about and envy.  In short, she is a true gift.

And I simply cannot get over the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, life is really good.  I'm not saying a baby makes things perfect, I'm saying that sometimes the unexpected can be the best thing about this insane, often anxiety-filled life.  And this is coming from the woman who hates it when her coffee unexpectedly is stronger than it was yesterday.  But when Oopsie was born and when our common friends were pouring in the congratulations, it really hit me how stupid the rest of it all is. 

I have thought this frequently over the course of my life, but only when things have been really frustrating have I fully understood just how cool some moments are.  When it comes down to it, who the hell cares whether Company X's attorney is stonewalling you?  How does it affect your life?  Sure, it helps you maintain a job and a roof over your head and food on the table.  But (and trust me on this one) those things can disappear and yet you still wake up every morning and you still go to bed at night.  And (trust me on this one, too), the frustrating things may follow you wherever you go and may not let up for a while.  But, again, you keep going.  And if you have friends or family or hobbies or pets or WHATEVER makes you happy, that's really all it takes to keep getting up.  Because good stuff happens.  Sometimes it's just harder to see.

My friend will now have sleepless nights and worries and feeding issues and problems associated with this kid, for the rest of her life.  But she will also know a love that she has never felt before and will know a joy that can't be pushed aside no matter what goes on.  And there are other good things out there--from winning (PLEASE) the lottery, to your favorite meal being served up at home, to tomatoes actually sprouting, to the Cubs (PLEASE, PLEASE) pulling the season out of thin air.  There are countless possibilities for good.  So I guess maybe that's what should be focused on.  That's the good stuff.  And it's everywhere.  We just need to learn how to see it.

So congratulations Oopsie and your parents.  Welcome to the world, little one.  You're the good stuff.
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