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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Social Situation

I think my kid is a good combination of cautious around strangers and sociable.  This is my perpsective based upon absolutely no evidence whatsoever.  But on the one hand, he's usually pretty quick to stay close to mom when there are new people around.  On the other, once he is comfortable he will be as chatty as Regis, particularly if the audience includes a pretty girl.  Not bad.

BUT.  I freak out about my choices as a parent and how they will affect this kid's social development.  I worry that I spend too much time with him.  I worry that I don't spend enough time with him.  I worry that he doesn't see a lot of other kids.  I FREAK at the idea of him spending massive amounts of time with other kids.  I worry he will be a bully.  I worry he won't.  It's a never-ending stream of worry, all centered around something that I most likely have absolutely no control over.

The biggest question is what happens when (please, God) I find a job.  Do I put him in daycare?  Do I find a sitter?  We moved here so that such choices are easier, and they are.  But unless my dad wants to quit his job and work full-time for free as the baby's b*&ch, the social question still must be posed.  The kid is 15 months.  Does he need interaction with other kids?  Will he be ok without me around every day and still know that I haven't left him?  Does he even give a crap?  Probably not.  Nonetheless, it is something about which I will worry until he is safely in kindergarten, where I am legally obligated to let him do his own thing.
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