My Life Sucks More Than Yours

As you are well aware, I have been having one hell of a pity party for quite some time now.  I have wallowed, I have wailed and I have wept; sometimes accomplishing the incredible feat of doing all three at once.  And as we have discussed, there are plenty of people out there with crap going on as well.  In fact, I quite literally am not aware of any friend or acquaintance who ISN'T going through something big.  Call it "life," call it "the recession," call it "George"--whatever it is called, there's a lot of stuff going down.

That said, there is a growing trend that is starting to drive me insane.  It's the "my life sucks more than yours" contest.  And this whopper of a competition is taking place all over the country--likely, the world.  I have been absolutely dumbfounded at some of the comments I see people making to one another.  We're talking about "no, you can't possibly be as sad as I" comments, in the middle of conversations about nail polish.  The zingers come from all over. Stay-at-homes stake their claim to having it worse than working parents who demand that they have it worse than the rich who have it worse than the ill who have it worse than the medicated and so on and so on.  I completely GET feeling like you have it worse than everyone around you.  Heck, like I said, my self-pity party rocks 24/7.  But to tell others that their pity parties don't have the beautiful decorations that yours sports?  That's insane.

First and foremost, none of us has any clue what is really going on in someone else's life.  It would baffle you to know that the head of the PTA was arrested a few months ago for vandalism.  You would be shocked to learn that your colleague is on a cocktail of anti-depressants that make Judy Garland's medicine cabinet look like a Baskin Robbins.  And it would blow your mind to know that the beautiful baby your neighbor won't shut up about is actually the mailman's kid.  I'm only partly joking--you just never, ever know what someone else is going through.  Even when he or she does the occasional (or frequent) sob story, you're rarely getting the entire picture.

Second, do the comments really make the speaker feel better?  I know how scary things are right now.  But by trying to let everyone know that you're "superior" in your misery, do you convince yourself?  I doubt it.  I can't believe that by explaining to the woman at the grocery store that the fact she worked the Fourth of July doesn't compare to your uncle's drunken admission that he has a love child, you feel better about the family secret (true story, actually--the woman in front of me had this conversation with the checker yesterday).  I just can't see the purpose of trying to rain on someone else's thunderstorm.

I am 100% guilty of doing the above.  But I have also been noticing it a lot lately in people who are far better humans than I.  Maybe we can all cut each other some slack?  I'm going to try to assume that every person I come across has a life that sucks more than mine on that particular day.  In which case, welcome to my party.  Please bring beer.