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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Friday, July 15, 2011

Do As I Say...


From http://www.derekjeter.com/
And if you are getting
life lessons from Derek Jeter,
you may be in worse shape
than my kid.
 Easily one of my biggest, and most annoying faults is my exceedingly low patience level.  I say annoying and I mean both to others as well as to myself.  It's seriously irritating how quickly I can go from "cool" to "what the...."  And we are talking 24/7 here.

One of the nice things about Montana is there isn't a ton of waiting.  Sure, people are slower, but there are fewer of them and they generally don't get too uptight much.  So the entire stress level in public places is much lower.  Unless I am there.  I cannot begin to comprehend what the problem is, when someone can't bring me the stupid soda I ordered.  If you're driving too slow in front of me?  I sit about 5 inches from your bumper and glare into your rear view.  And I literally have no place I have to be.  If I asked you for a job?  I can't comprehend why it's be 5 minutes and I haven't heard anything.  I drive myself insane.  Those around me can comment as to how pleasant this aspect of my personality is to them.  But I'm guessing there are few who love it.

But the worst part is that I see it in my kid.  He'll hold his hand up for another bite of food and while I am cutting whatever our feast happens to be, he will let out a squeal and will grab the entire meal off of the plate anyway, because I am too slow.  If he wants his shoes on, there is no finishing the dishes--he wants them on NOW, dammit.  It's hilarious.  And I get that I am the parent so his poor life really is "do as I say, not as I do."  But there is a part of me that feels incredibly guilty about it.  Yet I can't decide whether I want to change my ways as a result of the guilt, or go easier on his.  As the latter seems less invasive to me (and quicker), probably that one.

There are so many things that are lessons we teach our kids but don't follow.  I have to wonder where we went astray.  Clearly we know about the right path, or we wouldn't be teaching it.  So we were likely taught the good stuff.  So how in the world did we fall off and how do we keep our kids from doing it?  I'm guessing there is no way.  We know too little about this whole process.  And THAT is annoying.

If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.  Now.  Right now.  I want to hear them NOW.
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