When I had a baby, I bought no fewer than THREE books on baby-proofing the house. I learned all kinds of tricks on how to close off cupboards and lock up all goodies. I bought packages of door locks and toilet securers and outlet coverers. And they worked great. Until, of course, he could walk. And until he became much, much smarter than I. Which didn't take long.
I like to think of toddlers as mini-King Kongs. They're smart, they're crabby, they have a ton of strength, and they don't really get that smashing buildings isn't the most productive way to spend a morning. In fairness to my kid, my electronics smashfest was started by myself. I dropped my phone and shattered the screen. Yay me. But he quickly took up the slack. The computer was next. Followed by the DVD player. And then the camera. In short, if it has a battery or plugs in, it was targeted this week.
Which brings me back to my point--there is no such thing as "baby-proofing" anything. You can try to "baby-repel" but really you're just drawing attention to the good stuff. Case in point: my kid was fascinated with trying to drop things in the toilet when I had a child lock on it. But after he demolished the lock (AND, I might add, flushed pieces of it), he really didn't care. No lock = not interested. Empire State building destroyed. Mission accomplished. King Kong happy.
I'm starting to wonder what other "parenting advice" nuggets are huge myths. Don't get me wrong--I completely agree with the need to try to protect our mini-monkeys as they go on their warpaths. But the idea that they can be stopped altogether is terrifyingly insane. Unless, per usual, it's just me. Has anyone out there succeeded in stopping your child from destroying your house? If so, please call. If not, I wish you the least destroyed house on the block. And if you don't have kids--go buy a bunch of stuff and enjoy it. Because if you ever change your mind, prepare to battle. And to lose.
they say silence is golden, but when you have a toddler... it is the scariest thing you can hear, because your head will snap up, like a beast in the forest, all your senses will go on high alert and you will find the child innocently sitting in the middle of the carnage, smiling sweetly and wondering what your problem is!
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