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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Should I Not Do That?

As I have mentioned (repeatedly) I have a bit of a sweet tooth.  And as I have also mentioned, it is growing.  Yesterday I mentioned my newfound talent of offing an entire cake or batch of cookies.  But the funny thing is, this desire for sugar generally only kicks in after my son has gone to bed.  Case in point.  For the last few nights, I have baked cookies.  For my kid, of course.  But this logic is sort of flawed when I manage to devour each and every one, before he wakes in the morning.  The moment his head hits the pillow, I desire anything and everything sweet.  And for better or worse, it's hit-or-miss whether that "anything" is in my house.  Therefore, what many of you won't think is funny are the thoughts that sometimes go through my head as a result.

I guess you could say it has actually crossed my mind to go to Dairy Queen and pick up a Blizzard.  Or to the grocery store and get a cake.  After my kid is asleep.  HORRIBLE!!!  I guess it's debatable how serious I am.  I mean, I haven't actually done it, so I must not be completely awful, right?  But, man, do I want to.  The conversations in my head are priceless.  "You know, he's just going to be asleep...."  "Are you INSANE?  You can't leave your kid alone in the house!!!"  "Of course not.  But, he's just going to be asleep...."  For all law enforcement, DCFS, newspaper and other authority figures freaking out, I of course will never actually leave my kid alone.  Heck, I freak out when a sitter is here.  I'm just sayin.  Sometimes the desire for a Butterfinger Blizzard is so overwhelming, a teeny tiny little voice says "go ahead."  AGAIN--it won't happen.  Please don't come take my child.  Just sayin.

Mmmmm...sheet cake....
I know I have a problem.
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