One of the most important lessons parents teach is how to get along with others--how to play nice; how to include everyone; how to help out others in need.  Unfortunately, this lesson is often met with a sorry fact of life--the clique.  Even more unfortunately, I am talking about among parents.

When I was pregnant, I immediately jumped onto the information superhighway in an effort to find other moms just like me.  I was really excited to finally be a part of an established group--we were all going through the same kinds of things, and many of us had even more in common.  So I jumped onto a popular "Motherhood Superior" type website and introduced myself.  I excitedly checked for the hundreds of comments that would welcome me with open arms into the community.  But even by day 5...nothing.  Huh.  Well, perhaps I could try a different site.  Still nothing.  Well, perhaps I could comment about a specific topic on which I happened to be experienced.  Not one word.  I was shunned by a community of women who didn't even know me.  Bitches.

So, I chalked it up to the fact that the instinctively knew I was more fun than they (what else could it be?) and moved along with life and impending motherhood.  But unfortunately, the minute I had the baby I saw that not only were parent cliques even more menacing in real-time, they were even more necessary.  Rival gangs of mom meetings throng my neighborhood, each vying for prime coffee house real estate for meetings and each presenting its own case for its superiority.  There's the over 30 group, the baby yoga group, the stroller walker group...you get the picture.  But sadly there was no group for the older, single, working, never-before-been-around-a-baby, excited and terrified mothers.  There was no group for me.  Once again, I was 15 and the designated driver for my much cooler friends.

Until recently.  A few nights ago, as I stepped out of my car with 3 bags, two boxes, one child, and countless pieces of garbage, a woman stopped to ask if I needed help.  God, yes.  Oh, with this stuff?  No, thanks.  She started to walk away, then suddenly stopped and asked if we had met before.  Yes, I think we have.  She lived a few doors down and I had always admired her seemingly perfect house, children and husband.  My son (a born flirt) smiled coyly at her and giggled, and that's all it took.  Oh, my goodness, how old is my baby?  Her eyes got big and she became excited.  Did I want advice on schools?  Was I looking for a nanny?  Was I interested in their weekly mom's night?  My brain struggled to keep up with her excitement--and mine.  This was it.  I was finally "in." 

Like high school, it took the attention of an adorable boy for the rest of the world to include me.  But it was worth it.  But as horribly infantile as cliques may be, maybe they can also be a necessary boost in our lives.  Just knowing that I have the option has meant the world to me.  I feel like I have this entire support group (in addition to my incredible support group of friends and family, of course) behind me.  I feel like I can take on the other moms because I have a gang at my back.  I feel like I should probably not admit any of this to my kid.