Culture Wars

What?  They're cute.

When I was a parent in Chicago, there were about a million things I wanted to do with my kid when he was old enough.  Almost all included cultural experiences that would (hopefully) open his mind and expand his world in ways that I couldn't alone.  I was (am) very excited to show him different foods and museums and music experiences and hope that some of it becomes the wonderous world that I had experienced, too.

Things are a bit different here, though I am first to say it's not that there is no culture.  It's just that the culture is different.  Very, very, very different.  I believe I mentioned there is one Indian restaurant that I have found, and they sadly don't deliver.  And I won't even get into the "museums."  BUT there are other experiences that Chicago simply doesn't have.  For example, this week is the continuation of the state fair.  We are considering going, in order to watch a friend's nephew show his pig.  Never seen someone show a pig before.  It will be a cultural experience (shock) to both of us.  Can't say there's much pig showing in the Loop.  I will reserve my lawyer jokes for the moment.

My point is this--I am deeply concerned about giving my kid a worldly experience.  Because there is not much travel money, for a while at least, we will have to satisfy ourselves with in-home learning on the subject.  But that said, there really are things here that offer great opportunities, as well.  For example, apart from the pig experience, I would wager not many mid-westerners know the true story of Lewis and Clark.  Here it's pretty standard.  And hiking and skiing aren't prevalent along Michigan Avenue (though, truthfully, they're not with me, either).  History surrounds you, no matter where you are.  Are the cultural experiences equal?  Heck no.  But I lived here until I was 22 and don't think I am a complete idiot about others and history, so I'm guessing it's all stuff you figure out.

Now excuse me.  A pig is waiting for my attention.

Big Surprise

Needless to say, there are many aspects of being a parent that surprise me.  Ok, fine, ALL aspects of being a parent have caught me off guard.  Everything from how much I would adore this kid to how completely my life would change.  You name it, I didn't see it coming.  But at the end of the day, you learn a lot about yourself in the process.

But.  At the moment I am struggling with something that really has thrown me off.  In short, I worry that my kid won't like me.  I know, I sound insane.  Generally, I'm not one to spend a heckofalotta time worrying about whether a guy likes me.  After many years and many experiments, I have generally come to the conclusion that you either do or you don't.  Not much to do either way.  But with him, it's sort of always in the background, now that he's developed his own personality and can voice his opinions.  And, as is pretty much always the case with toddlers, his opinions are extreme.  Really, really extreme.  If he likes something, there are squeals and giggles and fist pumps (maybe I shouldn't have watched Jersey Shore when pregnant?).  If he doesn't like something, I am slightly embarrassed to say he has started the foot stomping and swinging of plastic golf clubs.  I have no experience with such things, but it is my understanding that this is normal.  But to me, it's an entire world of craziness.

The worst part is that it has opened up a box of total apprehension, as well.  In myself.  I have never really had anybody express displeasure at my daily activities the way he does (I believe I mentioned I am not married).  And while it's not a huge deal on a daily basis, it does sort of wear on me overall.  And particularly when worrying about everything I do--eventually going back to work, day care vs. sitter, EVER leaving the house (you get the picture)--I start to fear that he won't like me. 

It's insane, I know.  Totally, totally insane to worry about whether a one year old dislikes you.  Even more insane to worry about whether a one year old may eventually dislike you, for decisions you haven't yet made.  Even, even more insane to think that a kid can go even days without disliking something about parents.  I mean, come on--who wouldn't dislike someone who does things generally boring without explaining why, including making us walk around in our own pee and forcing us to get off of the kitchen table when it's so much fun??

Maybe I should drink more.  Or less.  Either way, if every day of parenthood is filled with these crazy thoughts and fears, it's going to be a bumpy, bumpy ride....

Quote of the Day

Hello, folks.  We are going to be starting a new segment here on Sundays, called quote of the day.  If you have any favorite quotes--inspirational, funny, touching or just interesting, please send them my way.  Don't forget to give credit where due!

"The baby was a lovely little boy, but sad to say, he did not weigh sixty pounds.  That is what I had gained and that was what I had to lose."

-Barbara Bush

A Blanket By Any Other Name

A good friend recently made a comment that makes me see how insane perspective can be.  We were having a little picnic in my backyard with our kids.  My son absolutely adores her kids, and I was beyond thrilled to find when I moved here that she and I have a lot in common.  As a result she has become a great friend.  Anyway, when it came time for our dining al fresco, I ran into the house and pulled out my supermom blanket.  Let me pause here to explain this thing.

The supermom blanket is a super-duper, totally awesome item comprised of wet-proof material on one side, and a soft, but washable blanket material on the other side.  Bonus?  It folds up into a bag so that your hands are free when toting it to the park or pool.  I freaking love the thing.  And I am particularly proud because I actually purchased it following the spectacular destruction of my career.  I want to say it was $20 or less.  I saw it as one of the items of the week in a parenting magazine (don't forget to vote for best blog!  yes, I am shameless) and had to order it.  I saved up for it and everything.  And I love it.  It was one of my more sensible purchases.

So, anyway, I look at the supermom blanket as a smart purchase, made after thought and only because of its totally reasonable price and lack of a label such as "Pottery Barn Kids" or "Prada."  Yeah, well, my friend laughed when I brought it out and commented that she was telling her sister-in-law about the supermom blanket and comparing it to her own use of towels on such occasions.  Oh.  Right.  Towels.  Perhaps THAT would be the sensible thing to do.  She meant it as a slam on her own lack of supermom blanket, but I cracked up because I really saw how silly such a purchase is.  In short, I am delusional as to what, exactly, sensible spending is.

For over a decade, it has been second-nature to me to just, well, buy stuff.  And I justify it.  I have totally used the supermom blanket and I stand behind it being one of the more awesome purchases a parent can make.  BUT sensible?  Not so much.  Sure, it frees up the hands when walking the 20 feet from my backdoor to the middle of my lawn.  Sure, our behinds don't get wet and our towels are free for toweling.  But sensible?  Not so much. 

I'm constantly fascinated by how wrapped up in our own worlds we can be.  I hadn't really even realized the world I had created (nor all the stuff in it) until I backed out a bit.  Parts are good, parts aren't.  But I think it's recognizing the difference that can be the battle.

That's Goofy

Originally from
http://www.toontown.net/

When I was a kid, I was in love with Disneyland.  Ok, fine, I still am.  I truly, truly believe that it is the Happiest Place on Earth, as it claims.  There are no problems that can't be solved just by paying your $5K per family and walking in the front gates.  It's heaven.

That said, I've never been a huge fan of Mickey Mouse.  We didn't have the Disney Channel (for those of you too young to remember, there was a time before satellites or DVDs, when things like Disney and In Living Color were merely rumors to those of us in the sticks).  So my experiences with Mickey were sort of hit or miss.  Now that we watch Disney Jr. most days (well, have it on, more than "watch"), my suspicions are confirmed--Mickey's a bit of a jerk.  Minnie's not much better; I find her vapid and a bit annoying.  And don't get me started on the two Ducks.  Pluto is really about the only nice character.  So, not so much impressed with the Club.

But there is one character with whom I am fascinated:  Goofy.  I, like many of my generation, loved the movie Stand By Me.  There is a line in it that I got, but didn't really pay attention to.  One of the characters comments that "If Mickey's a mouse, and Donald's a duck, and Pluto's a dog, what the hell is Goofy?"  While I understood the line, I didn't really consider it until recently.  And now it annoys me.  A lot.  What the hell IS Goofy?  Seriously, if you're going to come up with a cast of characters comprised of various, talking animals, why do you plunk in something completely out in left field?  I'm so confused.  He's clearly not a dog--Pluto is.  He's not a mouse.  He's not a horse.  The best I can come up with is that someone got a little high and rode Space Mountain a few too many times. 

If you have a better theory, I am all ears.  Because it's driving me insane.  Why?  Why Goofy?  Why?