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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Thursday, June 30, 2011

9 Billion Kids and Counting

The Duggar Family
Sigh.  I have yet another confession to make.  Prior to having a kid, I really enjoyed the TLC show "__ Kids and Counting."  I left the number blank because the show is about the Duggar family and their numerous, ever expanding kids (the number, not the size).  To-date, they have spawned 19 children.  Nineteen.  Michelle Duggar gave birth nineteen times.  Just, wow.

Anyway, I have again sort of picked up the show because there is nothing else to watch on Tuesdays.  And I am very disappointed in my reaction.  I judge.  And I judge and I judge and I judge.  For some reason, after having one child I am appalled at what I perceive to be a lack of responsibility in having nineteen children.  Perhaps it's the fact that I could never, in this lifetime, have the ability to parent that many kids.  But I think it's more that neither do they--the older of the kids end up parenting the smaller ones.  And it upsets me.  And THAT upsets me.  What business of mine is it?  I guess, though, if you put your family out for the world to judge, it shouldn't be shocking to anyone that judgment is what you will receive.

The most fascinating aspect of the show, though, is the fact that I genuinely like (most of) the people in the family.  They seem like really good kids/ adults.  I would LOVE to see what they're like off-camera, though.  Does Michelle ever lose it and tell Jim Bob that he's a sexist pig and to go f*&k himself?  God, I hope she does.  But I doubt it.  I suspect that they really mean it when they say they try to be good people.  And it seems that they are.  I don't necessarily agree that their lifestyle is for everyone, but maybe a lack of connection to the outside world can keep you optimistic and caring.  Who knows. 

The point is, you can live your life however you choose.  And, no matter how I try not to, I can judge you for it.

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