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In the movie Lost in Translation there is a scene in which Bill Murray's character explains that, upon having your first child, "your life as you know it is gone...never to return." The movie has been one of my favorites for years. I just wish that I had known he meant my life.

In early 2010, I gave birth to the world's most perfect child. (Is there a parent who doesn't think his/her child is the world's most perfect?) In addition to being beautiful, he is brilliant and sweet and funny and hands-down the best thing that will ever happen to me. This kid is my entire world. I had somehow suspected through most of my life that he would be, which is why I fought very hard to have him. But about the post-childbirth apocalypse, I had absolutely no clue.

To say things have changed would be misleading. EVERYTHING has changed. Most of it has been good--some not so great--but everything is without a doubt different. And now the world changes once again. My little family and I find ourselves journeying from the big city to beautiful, calm Montana. Will the change be for the better? As with anything, the answer is sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," and always sought with massive quantities of hope. Come with me as I navigate the roads from fast-paced, big-city lawyer to Montana Momhood. Is there a line that can be walked? We'll see. But I can guarantee, at a minimum, it will be an adventurous road trip....

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Parenthood or Age?

This is totally what I look like.  Really.
Reprinted from toonbarn.com.


When I was a kid, I was occasionally annoyed by my parents (well, my dad, really) falling asleep on the couch in the evenings.  Well, maybe not annoyed so much as disappointed.  There was so much to do!  There were games and movies and playing and eating that could be done!  How dare they (he) fall asleep when spectacular me was there!

Fast forward a decade or two (fine...or three or four).  Having a kid is tiring.  Being old is tiring.  Multiply the two, and your body doesn't stand a chance.  Which, as you know, I have fully acknowledged over the past several months.  I am going to be tired.  And as much as I love my kid and love spending time with him, I am very lucky that he goes to bed early.  Especially lately, as you will see.  But I have fully acknowledged that it is reasonable for me to want to nap a bit.

Over the past few weeks, though, it's more than nap.  I have been physically INCAPABLE of staying awake.  About 8:30 (yes, I know that's pathetic), no matter where in my house I am or what I am (or should be) doing, I will completely pass out.  We're talking snoring, drooling, offensive sleep.  And there's nothing I can do about it.  For a short time, my paranoid self seriously wondered whether I had been accidentally drugging myself.  I seriously pass out and wake up hours later, in a painful heap on the chair or couch.  And it's completely involuntary.  Sad.

So I guess I owe all adults an apology.  I hadn't realized.  At all.  And it makes me worry about the other involuntary body reactions that are likely coming.  Is this the beginning of the end?  Will I soon end up a drooling mess while in line at the grocery store?  Is an oxygen tank just months away?  Is my physical reaction to parenthood or age?  Either way, good to know there's yet another thing I can't control in life.  Awesome.

1 comment:

  1. at least you don't have the sneeze-pees, yet...
    do you?

    ReplyDelete