Well, that's not exactly true. I like the company of other people. During the day. But once 5:00 hits, I have absolutely no desire to leave my house (lately, 5:00am). That's one reason why I loved being a litigator. Most of our socializing occurred during daylight hours (sure, they often passed into nighttime hours, but I was typically out of it by then). A vampire I could never be. I used to drive my friends insane because I wouldn't want to go out at night, unless it was a continuous motion from the earlier part of the day. I always had a good time when I did. But getting me out the door was a chore.
Truthfully, it was also a reason why I was excited to have a kid. I had a built-in excuse. What I hadn't realized, though, is that many people don't have kids and many others don't parent the same way. So I still come away with the guilt, though it is about a million times more difficult to leave my house than it was previously.
This has not been an issue for the past few months. At all. I have been blissfully ensconced in my house, alone with my kid. But now it seems that I am getting more and more invitations to leave it. And the thought makes me nauseous. Seriously--what the heck? People are being nice. I have opportunities to have fun and get to know people. And I have absolutely no desire. I see it as an obligation, not as a chance. I had thought I would someday enjoy getting out into the world. But now I am thinking that the ship has sailed. I am perhaps destined to be the little old woman who never leaves her 12 cats. I will become that person who growls at kids when they come to the door, peddling things. And I will be in heaven. Goodbye ship. Hello island.
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